she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
