i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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