love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
