tell your sister to shave her snatch
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
