it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
