He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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