dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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