Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
