the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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