Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
