This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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