lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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