Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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