Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
