dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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