I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
