Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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