we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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