I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize