nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
