You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
