hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
