im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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