Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
