If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
