so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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