return my video game
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
