Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
