Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize