I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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