what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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