happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
