I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
