My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
