Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
