He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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