At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
