Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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