if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
