Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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