Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
