My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
