My nipple is on Facebook.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
