Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
