Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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