i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
