Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
