i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
