what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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