Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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