i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
