that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
